What's your number one question about personal development?


I Do Not Own My Kids: Rethinking Parental Ownership To Empower Confident And Independent Adults - A Thought-Provoking Parenting Approach

By Jose Lizama

Updated on Monday 22nd of May 2023

What's your number one question about self-improvement?


As a child, I remember hearing from my parents and peers alike that they were my "owners." It was a concept that never sat well with me, and as I grew older, I began to challenge the traditional notion of parental ownership. I realized that no one truly owns another person, and that includes parents and their children.

If we want our children to become confident, independent, and responsible adults, then we need to start treating them as unique individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and desires. We need to stop trying to control and manipulate them and instead cultivate a healthy relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.

The good news is that it's never too late to shift our approach to parenting. One of the first steps is acknowledging that we do not own our kids. It sounds like a simple concept, but it's one that can be difficult for many parents to accept. It requires letting go of the idea that our children are extensions of ourselves and recognizing that they have their own identities, their own paths to follow.

When we approach parenting from a place of ownership, we end up stifling our children's growth and potential. We try to shape them into who we want them to be rather than allowing them to explore their own interests and passions. We rob them of their autonomy and agency, sending a message that we do not trust them to make their own choices and decisions.

Just imagine a world where parents approached their children with love, guidance, and support instead of ownership. A world where children felt empowered to be their authentic selves, to take risks and make mistakes without fear of punishment or judgment. A world where parents and children had open and honest communication, where parents listened to their children's perspectives and respected their choices.

This world is possible, and it starts with changing our mindset around parenting. Here are a few practical tips for letting go of the ownership mindset and embracing a more empowering approach:

1. Communicate openly and honestly with your children. Listen to their thoughts and feelings without judgment or interruption.

2. Avoid using controlling language such as "because I said so" or "you have to."

3. Encourage your children to make their own decisions and support them even if their choices are different from what you would have chosen.

4. Recognize and celebrate your children's unique strengths and talents.

5. Give your children space to explore their own interests and passions without trying to micromanage or control their experiences.

6. Allow your children to make mistakes and learn from them in a supportive and non-judgmental way.

7. Empower your children to take ownership of their lives and their futures.

In conclusion, parenting is a challenging and rewarding journey, and embracing a mindset of love, guidance, and support is essential for helping our children reach their full potential. By recognizing that we do not own our kids, we can shift our approach to parenting and cultivate healthy, empowering relationships with our children. Just imagine what a difference this could make in the lives of our children and our families. Let's make it a reality.

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